Monday, September 10, 2012

Nothing new just how it is

Betrayal and abuse. 
These are my life.
I created my own karma
I am reaping what I have sown

I have changed my life for the better
I have kept my promise to be kind to others
I have kept my promise to be honest with others
I have kept my promise to not hurt anyone again
I have not let the want of money rule my life
I have shared all I have with those who need it more
All of these I have been happy to do
They have enriched my life, being and sense of self

But the rooster still comes home to roost
I must still pay a much heavier price for my gross misdeeds
I must still suffer the same kinds of emotional and physical pain I visited on others
I must be distrusted and reviled as my past dictates
I must be hurt over and over again,
The emotional beatings should never stop
The people I trust the most will forever betray that trust
I will be used by those closest to me
I will be thrown away like common trash once I have no more to give
They will tell me they love me while desiring to witness my destruction

Betrayal and abuse
These are my life, my jailers
I have created my own karma, set the stage for my own damnation
I will continue to reap the bitter harvest I have sown
This is my future and I am resigned to it
The distance of this marathon seems to great, insurmountable
Because it is supposed to be

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