Thursday, September 13, 2012

A grey day

When the darkness begins to fade
A sense of possibility emerges
I can't see the light yet, but I can feel it
Optimism starts to chip away at the wall of defeatism

The dark abyss below beckons me
The gravitational pull still tries to overwhelm me
The ropes around my body tighten
As if angry that I am trying to escape

I must keep struggling
There is more out there for me to do
People who need my help
People who know who I was before the darkness

I try to regain control of my mind
The images and thoughts still spin out of control
Flashes of pain and sorrow roll like a horror movie
Even with eyes closed, the images are frightening

As I look up, I face uncertainty
My fears of rejection hold me back like dead weight
The questions begin to flood me
Is it worth risking more pain and sorrow?

I have to fight this darkness
It keeps trying to overwhelm me
I must maintain a constant struggle against it
If I don't, I will not be able to withstand its crushing force

Is there a hand that can reach into this pit?
Someone who will protect me and never hurt me
Someone in whom I can trust and love unconditionally
Someone who will give me the same things

That person is out there
That person knows who he is
He struggles against the same darkness
Fights against all he has learned for a new beginning

Only together can we reach the light of a new day
We are more than the sum of two parts
Our hearts and minds joined multiply our strength
Our fight will be effortless only together

Please God, let him find me
Let him understand everything about me
Let him love me unconditionally
Let him find peace in my arms

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